Stat of the Day:
50% of young people ages 25-39 think it is important to have a steady job before being in a relationship
Why It Matters:
Getting their lives in order is a priority for young people, and it often takes precedence over their romantic interests. As unconventional relationships and hookup culture become more common, a lot of the needs that drive people to be in a relationship can be met with lower levels of actual commitment (that is, people can have the physical intimacy they want without the commitment prior generations often expected). More significant than mere convenience, however, many of these young people express their avoidance of commitment as a practical necessity—for them to establish their independence and careers, they need to focus on work over play. While this may seem like an aggressive version of hustle culture, lots of young people claim that their overworked lifestyles are simply the result of their financial need. So while some may judge this lack of relationship commitment, it is important that we understand the realistic life goals these young people have and how they take priority for many in the early part of their careers.
Practical Implications for the Church:
This trend will likely have an important impact on the life cycle patterns of the congregation. Many church leaders can easily identify the central families around which much of their community’s life revolves. These are the families who seem to have a different member of the immediate or extended family on nearly every congregational committee. These families inevitably grow and change: many young people leave their hometowns for college or jobs and sometimes don’t return, while many longterm congregational stalwarts draw down their participation as they age or move away to be closer to their kids during retirement.
Churches must adapt to these changes. One way of doing this is by encouraging the next generation of local leaders to step up and take more responsibility. With fewer young people in church as it is, and their hitting certain milestones of adulthood later and later (e.g., marriage and child rearing), the gap between one generation leaving congregational leadership and the next taking it up can be considerable. This is especially the case when many younger parents are unable to step up due to their increased domestic responsibilities with their kids being so young.
What Can the Church Do About It?
If it is becoming more and more common for young people to delay settling down into married life and mortgages, churches would do well to consider these very young people for leadership before periods in their life when it was previously much more common (i.e., when their kids were old enough to be in school). Young adults in their 20s and 30s have a great deal to offer the church, and many are capable of becoming church leaders in their own right, even if their age makes them outliers in many churches.
Though congregational openness to young people in leadership may have drawbacks (e.g., those young people might find a better job somewhere else and move away), the benefits outweigh the risks. The potential for getting young people in positions of responsibility may help them commit to the church for the longterm, even if the congregation they end up serving for decades is in a different place from the church that first welcomed them onto the executive committee. Though marriage and family formation may require greater financial stability for these young people, church involvement need not. By encouraging them to take on greater roles and responsibilities in congregational life, we can make an investment in their lives while also encouraging longterm buy-in. Just as alienating experiences in church can push people away for decades, a congregation that encourages and empowers someone when they are young adults may establish their commitment for decades to come.